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After all that we have been through, I thought we were strong.(Keyword: thought) But from your thoughts, it seemed otherwise. I know it is hard on you too, high chance of driving you crazy. But knowing how easily replaced I am is just not a good feeling. Yes yes, you did not have the intentions of replacing me but then again, what happened deep down to trigger those thoughts? Don’t worry, it isn’t your fault but it’s mine. Not enough time spent, not enough attention paid. It is the circumstances that I’ve put you in that forced these thoughts out of you. The pain is like never before but it is good. This proves that my feelings are real, I do have emotions. Wtfooy bitch/slut/whore.

I wish I knew. Not knowing the meaning of it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. I know what an asshole I used to be/still am but it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel that way. Putting it downright blunt saying that I do not feel that way is like plainly saying efforts, time and emotions I have given was simply a joke. Oh well, afterall, if I view it from your POV, I probably would have said that too. No surprise, no surprise. Just broken.

i can’t imagine someone ever looking at me and getting butterflies that just doesn’t happen

Trust me, this happens. For that matters, it doesn’t just happened once.